Why I Was Single For Seven Years

YES! I was single for SEVEN years. From the ages of 17-24 I was very single. 

I grew up in a single-parent home. I saw damaged relationships. My mother did what she could to support us. She was an awesome mom to us and I really could not complain. I wasn’t really spoiled, I never starved, or went without. It was truly a blessed upbringing. However I never had a father figure. I will elaborate more on this later…

Fast forward several years and I am a teenager. I start to really get interested in the opposite sex. I start to “date” guys, but it is nothing serious. I would say that I had 3 monogamous relationships and maybe 3 not so serious relationships in varying lengths all before the age of 17.

At 17 things dramatically changed for me.

I started going to a local church down the street from my house. Within a few months I was dedicated. I started to follow the principles of the Bible including the one that says “NO sex before marriage”. At 17 this was not a huge deal for me, because I was still a virgin, and I was not in a current relationship. In fact my boyfriend and I had just broken up…so I was free.

…back to the father figure stuff…

God revealed to me that I really didn’t know what a “good” relationship was. I had absolutely no model for what it meant to really be with somebody for a long-term. I had no idea what it meant to have a father.

You know in the movies when a young lady has a date and she brings the young man to her house to meet her father. Her father then asks the young man a series of questions. These questions are asked to get a general idea of what the man in about.

This never happened for me. Never. My mom is really laid back, and just trusted me to make the right decision; but at 14-15-16 years old…it is almost impossible to make the best decision.

I left high school single and went to Bible College for three years. I met wonderful people and really solidified my relationship with God. I had a couple interesting relationships but nothing materialized…and I still remained single.

I left Bible College and came back home to Canada where I worked for a year. I decided to go to school for Social Service Work. I graduated with an Associate’s degree…and I still remained single.

By this time I was 24 I had been single for seven years! Near the end of my schooling in Canada I met my husband Carey and the rest is history. Some of our story is here, here and here.

In all that time of being single and abstinent it taught me how to value myself, how to love myself, and how to prioritize my life. It taught me the value of virginity, and how special and intimate it is. I was able to tell God (my heavenly Father) the desires of my heart, and He blessed me with a wonderful man.

Some more truth…

It’s hard to be single. I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. It wasn’t always roses and teddy bears! It was hard at times, and down right depressing. I longed to be in a relationship. There were days that I hated being single and I lost all hope. I wish I could tell you that I had a smile plastered on my face the whole time, and that my faith in God keep me from feeling down…but this was so not true for me. I was totally upset at times.

Eight Years Later…

I was in a relationship for two years…and now we have been married for six years…and I have to say…

That even though being single was very difficult, I count it as a blessing. I had time to think for myself and learn about myself with no distractions. When I finally was not single I cherished my relationship so much more, and was much more mature.

So after this very long post…I hope you get the picture that being single for any period of time is really a good thing. Yes seven years is long…but those seven years have made me who I am today…and also brought me to my husband.

What do you think about being single?

About the Author: honey-moon-150x150My name is Monique I am 32 years old, a Christian, a working mother, wife, and a student. My husband and I met ten years ago in Bible College. In 2006 we started dated and within eight months we were engaged! We were married a year later, on July 7 2007. We have a beautiful daughter named Ryleigh and currently reside in Massachusetts. I am currently studying psychology and authoring a blog called Focused Living. My hope is to reach individuals traveling through all walks of life and to empower them to live a Focused Life.