WHEN WORDS WON’T COME
How do you speak the words you are afraid to speak? Perhaps speaking them somehow makes them too scary, too close, too real. How do you express your heart when your emotions get the best of you?
When crisis comes, sometimes the words do not. We can forget who we are: the children of God. We can forget who He is: the Great Physician, the Great and Holy God, full of wisdom, righteousness, power and compassion. We can forget what He has done for us, what He’s given us, and what He can give. We can lose our faith, stumble, and lose our way.
Encouraging words and scripture meant to help us can even make us angry and tired. How do we express what is too painful for us to share?
Sometimes, putting the words in front of myself helped me to remember God’s love and promises and to believe again. During my cancer crisis, it helped me to recover my faith, my belief in God and in myself, and hope in my recovery.
Journaling can even help us to say what we didn’t know we wanted to say, or needed to express. Writing the words that we may hear in our heads can help us believe what the Holy Spirit is telling us, and what our own sensibility is convincing us is right. Writing the words down can even be revealing. It is not uncommon to learn something about yourself that you did not hear in yourself previously. It was hidden.
Journaling can be a way to talk to God directly, with love, even poetically. I believe God honors that and loves our creativeness in the expression of words. They are a gift from Him and should be returned to Him. Often, the words come from His heart right to my pen and are guided entirely by the Holy Spirit.
Writing a journal does not need to be a daunting, frightening thing. You do not need to stare at the paper in front of you and wonder what you will put down there. Allow God to guide you. If surrender to His will comes more easily for you, surrender. If it does not and you struggle, open your bible and go to some favorite verses. Pray quietly, even if it is only from your heart.
Take a walk and meditate on the wonderful gifts God has given. Try to recall God’s many names. Recall what He has done for you just today. Meditation can bring out things you thought you’d forgotten.
Let the words come without any previous thought. They will come. Pour out your heart; there is no wrong way, no right way. You never have to worry about correct spelling or correct grammar. No-one ever needs to see what you have written if you do not wish it. Focus on what is in your heart; imagine reading the words as if they are printed on your brain. This is where they are trapped; let them out, let them soar. They will have meaning.
When a health crisis comes, it may help to write out what has happened day to day. Write out the conversations you’ve had with your doctor, your spouse or other family member, or with a close friend. Even write out the joyful moments or victories you encounter along the way.
Don’t forget to write down your spiritual battle. You’ve had a very serious challenge, perhaps a testing. Your faith may have weakened. You may be full of doubt, fear, anger or bitterness. Writing out your feelings helps you find the strength to trust God again. Writing even simple, unadorned words can free us from continual heart-heavy emotions. The process of pouring out what we are thinking can be healing. The words are like our own tears, like they are meant to be: soothing and cleansing.
Journaling to heal your body, soul or mind is an adventure. Your crisis was a roller coaster of emotions. Now allow the words to bring you back to more joyful moments and back home to the heart of God.
April Boyer © 2014
“In His Shadow” a journey of hope and encouragement; for the breast cancer survivor, warrior, and thriver. http://hisxshadow.wordpress.com , http://facebook.com/ABbookshadow , order direct http://createspace.com/4430764
Written By: April Boyer
April Boyer has published a number of newspaper and magazine articles, devotional studies and poetry, and has contributed to anthologies.
She is in the process of co-authoring a biography about her mother, and a writer/artists devotional calendar. “In His Shadow” was published in Oct. 2013 after her cancer treatments concluded. She was inspired to share her experience with other women going through similar circumstances as a way to give them hope and encouragement. April claims Jesus Christ as her rock and salvation, and a safe place to hide “In His Shadow”.
April is available for speaking to cancer support groups, women’s groups, and has spoken to local television and radio interviews.