One of the quotes of Shannon Ethridge that I read in her book Every Woman’s Battle was this: “who I really am isn’t the Shannon the world sees, but the person my family sees.” Don’t we all have a tendency to put on a smile and be all polite when there are those around we want to think highly of us… then we come home and we just let the frustrations fly… they fly all over our spouse, they fly all over our kids, they fly all over our parents, and possibly even other extended family.
I used to have those moments alot… I would be totally worn out from trying to keep up a good face and front with those outside of my home so no one would notice that I was struggling… then come home and hear Momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, just one too many times and then boom, SNAP!, over someone needing help tying a shoe… or something else simple like that. Or you might find me blowed up and pouting, as I slammed dishes in the dishwasher, loudly closed cabinet doors, and hid in the bedroom for several hours folding clothes or cleaning the bathroom as I worked out a good mad at my husband for doing or saying something that hurt my feelings and ticked me off.
It has taken me almost thirteen years of marriage and my youngest baby being seven, to finally understand that my family deserves the best of me as much as (and even more than) the rest of the world. I signed up for this wife and momma gig… I can’t stomp around like a wild madwoman when I actually have to push myself to carry out this great commission of womanhood.
Now granted my family is going to see the worst of me. I mean they see all of me, all the time, and it ain’t all always so good. But my point being they don’t deserve to see only the worst of me simply because I know they are going to love me anyway… they deserve as much of the best of me as I can give them, simply because they are willing to love me at the worst when others would have already walked away.
Who I am is who I am at home, behind my closed doors, with those who are trapped here with me.
That is the In’s.
Now the Out’s.
Just as who I really am is who I am in my home who I also really am is who I am out of my church. You know the one that goes to Target. The one that calls AT&T on the phone with a DSL modem not working. The one that goes to work during the week (or to school), or the one that’s been sitting in the doctor’s office for my appointment that was two hours ago… that’s who I really am.
I mean really, anyone can pull off saint-hood for a couple of hours on Sunday morning when only surrounded by other people who are also all on their best behavior…
So as you look at the in’s and out’s… who are you really. Is this the person you want to be?
Here is one of the awesome things about God… He never changes. He is who is no matter where He is. As we are being conformed into the image of Christ, by growing in the grace and knowledge of God and by being sanctified by His Word… then we too should be becoming women and men who do not change. We should be who we be no matter where we are. We should represent the name Christian with integrity.
May the Lord never stop growing me, us, into the image of His Son.
About the Author: My name is Nicole Love Halbrooks Vaughn. I am a woman who is hanging on to the grace of God for dear life. I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, a teacher, and an author who is trying to become obedient in all things as I grow in the grace and knowledge of my God. May He take this life and use it all for Him and His glory. You can find me on the web at http://www.nicolelhvaughn.com/