An Ungodly Mess

A dinner mess. Piles of laundry.

Throw up.

Broken dishes.

Neglected naps.

I am tempted to let my emotions snap my words and actions into a very ungodly mess.

But honestly, I have absolutely no desire to adhere to any form of regulatory Mama behavior.

My mind recounts Zaiah's temper tantrum over a drop of spilled applesauce.  And I want to react to my current situation like THAT.  I could stand to whine, stomp my foot, and cry a tear or two.

But I know that my cold state of heart propels me into an evil abyss abundant in selfishness and regret.

So, I reach for peace.  I struggle to muster a bit of kindness.  And I attempt to coat my coerced words into a sweet patience.

But I can't fake it.  That desire to snap superceeds my best efforts to pretend patience and love in the midst of exhaustion and emotional frazzlement.

I don't want to yell at the kid who repeatedly raids the pantry before dinner.

But regrettably, my heart reflects the absence of God's peace.

know that I need the love of Christ to intervene.  But I can't escape my current condition.  I cannot separate my thoughts from the current spread of distraction and frustrating enticement.

My unresponsive heart is acutely aware that supernatural power is absolutely necessary to overcome my cold demeanor.

And so, I pray.

I surrender to God.

I pray for God to impose His power upon my heart.

And as His power flows into my heart, I change.

am tired.  I am stressed.

But in spite of a mess, laundry, throw up, broken dishes, and neglected naps - my heart rests in Him.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Mathew 11:28-30

About the Author: My name is Susan. I am a child of God.  He has given me the honor to mother a baragade of four small children, a Catahoula, a Pug, and an amazing Husband. I unraveled.  The stress of motherhood and a deficiency in my faith combined into an anxiety explosion.  It physically impaired my function and drained my mental capacity.  But God intervened.  I experienced the incredible power of God's unconditional love and grace.  And as I share His continuing work in my life, I pray that you are blessed and encouraged. You can find me on the web at